Turkish Mario Kart

There are no trains in Turkey. In order to get from one city to the next you either cross your fingers for an available flight or hire a car/bus/shuttle to drive you.  We were fortunate enough to take several transfers around Turkey and are alive to blog about it.

I equate Turkish driving to playing impaired Mario Kart. The driver is constantly passing other vehicles along highways disguised as windy mountain passes, avoiding obstacles, ignoring traffic lights, randomly (???) getting pulled over by the police, donning a mustache, and I may have even seen one drop a mushroom to gain enough speed to pass a tour bus around a large curve in the road. Ok, the mushroom thing never happened but the tour bus passing did. At least I think it did, as I admittedly had my eyes closed (while whispering a few prayers). 

I couldn't have drawn it better myself

Lanes hold zero meaning and I assume you collect the most points for driving as close as possible to the car/bus/donkey/moped in front of you without actually hitting them. Double points for driving slightly to the left of the obstacle as to always be in the best position to pass them. Triple points if you successfully make every passenger in your car feel like they might hurl. 1,000 bonus points for catching a rain storm and continuing the follow/pass dance without working windshield wipers.  2,000 bonus points if you successfully reach the finish line while taking calls on your burner phone and simultaneously texting on your smart phone. Gain a life if you participate in what appears to be a glorified ride share with random Turkish men hopping in and out of the passenger seat along the way. As our drivers scores rapidly increased I had to ask: Does this make them terrific or terrible drivers? 

While each transfer was a new adventure, I will always prefer to play Mario Kart from the comfort of my own home.